Before anything else, I think it is necessary to address the elephant in the room: my art looks like it was made by different people. The too simple answer is that it looks that way because it is that way. On the other hand, I am one person and I made all of these paintings and other kinds of art. Only now at 26 years old have we been able to make some sense of my personal and artistic disunity. I have a disorder called dissociative identity disorder, or more specifically, partial dissociative identity disorder. By some mixture of genetics and overwhelming life experiences, my brain was able to cope by dividing my qualities, perspectives, preferences, and feelings into loosely divided "personalities".
As far as I can tell, I have seven parts, or alters. From an early age, I felt there was a sort of discontinuity in my mind. Often, my thoughts felt (and feel) like they are spoken at me and less like I am creating the thoughts myself. I've also noticed that my physical strength, food sensitivities, and abilities would change, sometimes within a day. One way I think about it is that I am possessed, not by a demon or some spiritual something, but by myself. I watch myself do the dishes. I watch myself make meals, and I watch as we take turns making our own styles of art.
I'm aware this is unusual and not wholly accepted by the psychological community, but this is my life and I feel I must be brave enough to be honest, even in the face of uncertainty. I'm also aware these "parts" are all me. I know that but knowing it does not make it easy or less impactful. I must work to accommodate for the parts of me that need special attention or that make decisions the rest of me regrets or doesn't remember.
Whatever your opinion is on all of this, I hope you can enjoy the art. It tells parts of our/my divided story and I hope you look deeply into it just as I do. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself in the process like I do.
Cole
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